5 Ways to Be Assertive and Say “No”

Do you find it difficult to be assertive and say “no” to other people’s requests? Since there aren’t enough hours in the day to appease everyone, the art of saying “no” without hurting the feelings of others (or being a wimp) is an important life skill to acquire.

Saying “no” doesn’t mean you have to be rude. Plenty of polite yet assertive ways exist to tell people “no” when necessary.

Here are some ways you can say “no” without being rude or impolite:

1. “No” to now, but “yes” to later. “I’m very busy at the moment. Perhaps someone else can help you. If not, I’ll have time later in the week to help you out.”

This is a great way to say “no.” It’s assertive but also positive and kind. You let the person know there’s no way you can do what they’re asking. However, you allow them to ask someone else, or they can wait until you can help.

2. “No” unless something changes. “I’m flattered that you’ve asked me. However, I’m not currently in a position where I can take on this responsibility. Could we talk about this at another time or if there’s a change in my circumstances?”

This statement says “no” while still being very polite. You tell them how thrilled you are that they’ve asked you, but then you’re honest about how little time you have to commit to their request.

3. A definitive “No.” “I hate to disappoint you, but I cannot to do this. I’m afraid I’ll overextend myself.”

With this statement, you express regret for disappointing the person, yet you still tell them that this is a solid “no.” No doubt they’ll understand you don’t want to overextend yourself, which makes them sympathetic to the plight you’re in as well.

This answer is very kind and polite. Plus, it allows them to understand where you’re coming from.

4. “No” I can’t attend an event. “I had a great time before, but I won’t be able to make it this time since I’m already overscheduled.”

Sometimes you may get asked to an event you don’t want to attend or that you don’t have the time for. You don’t have to feel obligated to go. This statement lets the person know you’ve had a great time in the past, yet you’re overscheduled or busy this time around.

5. “No” to loaning money. “I really wish I could, but I make it my practice not to loan money to friends and family.”

Money is one thing that many people ask for from their friends and family. It’s difficult since you don’t want to insult or hurt their feelings. This statement is a nice way to be assertive and say “no” while being kind.

You let them know that you wish you could loan them the money, yet you go on to explain why you won’t. You clarify that this is your practice for everyone, and you’re not just saying “no” to him or her personally.

Conclusion

If you find it hard to say no, or after reading my suggestions, you still struggle with turning people away; this may have much to do with your self-esteem and self-worth.

Can I suggest that if saying no to others not only triggers you but also bothers you and you feel you have to say yes so you don’t offend people, it might be time to speak to a coach or a counselor about dealing with your own personal issues of self-esteem and self-worth?

In summary, you should be able to say “no” without feeling guilty or like you are the only person on earth who can help that other individual with his or her situation.